August: I arrived at Shenton Park Annex on the 14th August. I had spent a whole month in a private hospital in luxury, able to order food from a menu and enjoy a private room. Now things changed. The hoist was no longer available. How was I going to move myself?
The Head Physio came and gave me one lesson on using what they called a slide board. Imagine a skate board, sanded, varnished and completely flat.
It was my vehicle now to get from the bed to the wheelchair and from the wheelchair to the bathroom. I would receive help to manually swing my legs and sit on the side of the bed, then slide to the wheelchair. I had made the decision that I was here to apply myself one hundred per cent to walking. Nothing else; just walking. I declined radiation therapy. Each week I went by Maxi taxi in the wheelchair, to the private hospital for Chemo. That was enough. I was in this hospital to re-learn how to walk!!
I was in a room of four, and could look out the window and be wheeled outside into the gardens. I was so supported by my family and friends who came for company and often to deliver healing. In fact I listed who came to visit me and the count was 67. What an amazing team I had surrounding me! I was astonished that I knew so many people so well, and could call them my support team.
Jane gave me Reiki, and Selma came with Miranda. We closed the curtains around me when Miranda arrived. She was a large crystal skull from Scotland. She sat on my bed and we worked with her. The Nurses were curious! Joey brought me the most delicious meal, which I wolfed down with enthusiasm. Hospital food was not great. My Tao friends brought soup and wonderful fare, and others came with organic and freshly made healthy fare.
I celebrated my birthday in a conference room with my family, cake and all. I was delighted that my birthday had come and gone and I was still breathing! It was a milestone, given the track record of other family members who chose their birth dates to exit.
My first ‘gym’ class was to determine how much sensation I had, and which muscles worked and which didn’t. This was to create an exercise program for me. I saw a sharp pin like instrument being pushed against the skin. I was shocked to see it poking me hard, and the skin depressing with the pressure, and there was no response AT ALL! I had lost feeling in most parts of the lower body. And as for muscle function a rating was made from 1 to 5 from hips to feet. The results were dismal. After lying on a large flat gym bed I was exhausted at the assessment, both physically and emotionally. It was tough to confront the fact that this vessel of mine was in such poor shape.
September 2: So many tears, I am unable to stop the flow. What is happening?
“My dear, in duality, life appears confusing and perplexing. You are holding onto one belief system, while living another. Begin to surround yourself again, with those whose beliefs parallel your own. Your tears are the release of old fears, doubts and anxieties that you no longer need. Allow the tears to flow, feel the emotion; release it. There is no need to analyse, just acknowledge that a part of your Emotional Body is no longer required as you activate the next strand of your DNA”.
Is the Indigo Program adding a new DNA strand?
“Of course, a new program on your computer adds not only abilities but memory. Your Indigo program is doing both. It comes with a new DNA strand which does that and more. You will find knowledge of a kind you did not think you had available, emerge effortlessly. Plus new ways to approach your life with new thought patterns, new emotional patterns and new ways to formulate your future. This new program offers you another string to your bow, called in your language, a DNA strand. In our language we call this enlightenment, because it offers you more light codes than you have ever had available to you before.”
The hospital Dietician and I had a conversation about the definition of food. Although we did not agree on a definition; we agreed that I would be sent an egg each morning (which arrived cold); with a small tub of natural yogurt which I ate for lunch. I was then sent the dinner menu for a selection of evening meals which was not of the quality to re-build new tissue. Some of the other paraplegics on the ward had been there for weeks or months with pressure sores. To me, healing required nutrient rich food. It was readily available. My body was only interested in protein; fish and eggs, fish and eggs, fish and eggs. My well trained daughter was concerned that I was not eating veges! You will not get well if you don’t, she declared! How do you explain that no matter what ‘I’ may like to eat, ‘the body’ had its own preferences? And those preferences were not negotiable.
I learned so much about my physical body at that time. Between the food and the exercise I lost a few kilos.
September 20: I began to stand without support. Wobbly, not too confident, but I could do it. I have a photo to prove it. And let me tell you I had the wheelchair brakes on, and was using it for full support!
Will I walk again?
“Do not for a moment expect otherwise. To do so is to limit what you are capable of doing. Ask for each muscle to be strengthened and empowered. Ask for the feeling and sensation to return. Do not consider otherwise. Others have beliefs that differ from yours. Hold your new tools high. Others will begin to see that what you can do is possible for them also”.
Is my current health challenge of my own making?
“What has occurred for you was planned carefully. You; and only you could anchor the energy that is now flowing into the earth. You have agreed to anchor the energy of the New Universe into the dirt of the Earth. You have our guarantee that every cell in your body will heal and regenerate. You will become as you envision. Realise that the energy that now flows though you is altering the energy of the earth. This is a sacred contract…”
Weren’t the whole group of us doing that together?
“Yes, you were. Each one of you placed a signature, unique to you into the Earth. No two of you have the same signature. Your signature happened to be the one that disconnected the old grids, and in so doing you were to disconnect yourself simultaneously. Because you have reached such a high level of vibration, one that has taken us by surprise in fact, we are working with you to recreate both your contract and your body!” OH! I chose this contract!!
Remind me, if you are reading this, and are you with me next time, to lower the gradient. PLEASE.
More details later.
By September I had made great progress. So much progress in fact, that four weeks earlier than my expected discharge date, I became an outpatient. I was shocked to find I was being sent home four weeks earlier than promised! What will happen with my physio program I asked? I was making good progress, I was not about to slow down that improvement.
You will become an outpatient. What does that mean? I had never had much to do with hospitals before, what does it mean to be an outpatient? It meant that I would live outside the hospital, and travel in by taxi for three physiotherapy sessions each week. Not five! I was shocked that Physio would now be three times a week. What were they thinking? It appeared that I had reached recovery targets faster than expected.
Together with the family we decided that to travel from Mum’s house in Dalkeith, which was only ten minutes away from Shenton Park, was going to be more comfortable for me than from my own home in the hills, which was at least 45 minutes away. Jolting around in the wheelchair inside the taxi was not comfortable. Every bump in the road was painful.
We had noticed that Mum’s memory was not as good as it was. So Mum with strong legs and a poor memory; and me, with dodgy legs and a good memory, became a team for ten months. The Maxi Taxi would collect me three times a week for Physio and a fourth time to go to Chemo. Mum’s house had been fitted with a ramp for easy wheelchair access, so I moved in with all my aids; the wheelchair, the plastic bench for showering, and the over toilet frame. The glass shower screen was replaced with plastic shower curtains, and I had occupational therapy practise with my lovely OT, to get the hang of my routine, outside the hospital.
October: An early morning dream, where I saw myself walking up steps. Now in real life I could not raise either leg high enough to clear a step. In the dream I was watching myself walk. I saw myself in dark pants and a white top, taking comfortable steps. I was wearing shoes, not the runners that I had become restricted to! Real shoes, oh how I wish for that. I saw myself walking without aids across a pale grey, marbled floor of a public building. I seemed confident until I approached a step. The step was wide and shallow; a low step; that took me toward a rotating door. The observer watching myself in the dream anticipated a challenge. Any step right now is out of the question for me in real life! Can the “I” in the dream take that step? Can that “I” conquer the step? The “I” in the dream has no hesitation at all. That ‘me’ walked on confidently.
Fig: 10 shows that the two vertical side supports had moved to a position over the hips in response to my intent to move from wheelchair, to walking frame to crutches by Christmas. The body, mind and spirit combined to support me to do that.
By Christmas time my determination to walk again, paid off. I had moved from the wheelchair to a walking frame; and was on crutches for Christmas. Steps were still out of the question. My feet felt like flat plates that I moved with my mind, not my muscles. And my mind was absolutely set on getting me around on those feet, no matter what.
Look for this image in the very first frames of the movie.
In November Figure: 12 showed that the separation of the old and new Soul programs has begun. This occurred in the etheric body which is the grid on which the physical body is built. It is your foundation. And your foundation was shifting its substance, to accommodate the new Soul’s blueprint. This formerly occurred at death. What you were doing was transcending the death process as it had been. We called this separation the ‘Gap’; because it appeared as an image that cracked in half, separating its two parts. It is the second iridology pattern you see in the movie.
2004 had taught me much:
Trust turned to knowing – I KNEW the power of Intent.
I KNEW that I was not simply a body – I was much, much more than flesh, muscle and nerves!
I KNEW that the Earth is our support mechanism.
I KNEW that evolving bodies can be regenerated by the new software we are downloading.
I had faced my fears, and KNEW that there was definitely an intuitive time to do that. Even when I doubted I had made the best choice for myself.
I learnt that contracts have ‘catch-all’ clauses and that Marion was mine. She played the most vital role of all. She delivered me to hospital at the only time when an operation could be performed to save my leg functioning! And her ability as a healer enabled me to move that mandatory toe so the doctor would perform the operation.
I KNEW that the body is the mechanism that holds my timing. I thank myself for listening, even when I thought I had made the wrong set of choices.
I learnt how important a strong team is to success. Without their support I would not have had the confidence to do what I did that year. The team at work, my family, my team of friends and soul family, the healers who came to share their talents, the medical team – every one of them played a role that was unique to them. Without them the gradient would have felt much higher. Our new baby was my reason to stay. Didn’t he arrive at the right time!
Faith is a plunge into the unknown with an open mind. (From An Ascension Handbook; Tony Stubbs, 1992)
In 2001 Helen McCarthy asked loudly and vehemently to be shown how the visible and the invisible work together. Be careful what you ask for.
In the middle of that year she experienced an epiphany. A loud voice shouted the same sentence into her head twice. That sentence made little sense at the time; yet was a premonition of what was to come. She was about to live the answer to her question through a cancer diagnosis.