Excerpts from my journal and my appointments with Val:
July 15: Marion drove me to a major public hospital where I was given an X-ray. This X-ray showed that my spine had been BROKEN by the pressure of a tumour, the size of a golf ball. A young intern was sent to tell me that they would be sending me home as there was nothing that could be done. In that moment all that I had written came flooding back to me. I will not be sent home. I would like a second opinion please. I requested an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Image). I cannot tell you why this suddenly became important to me, it just was. I had no idea of what an MRI did or showed! And I was insistent. No, was the answer; this is not standard practise in this hospital.
On my mobile phone, with the help of a friend’s husband I received instructed as to how to extricate myself from this state operated hospital to a private one. I had paid my health insurance, now was the time to use it. Marion stayed with me and used her healing techniques and abilities to bring any nerve functioning left in my legs, to the fore. When the hospital discovered that I had private insurance cover, the game changed. They agreed to give me an MRI in the morning.
In the midst of this test, a voice spoke to me through the speaker system. He introduced himself as a neurosurgeon and said he would take me on as his patient. After this test was complete he would send one of his interns to speak with me. He would operate only if I could move a toe! A toe was all I could move, thanks to the work that Marion had performed the night before. Marion reminded me to ask that the hands of the greatest doctors work though this man, which I did.
I was asked if I would like to be operated on in this hospital, or in a private hospital. I chose the private hospital. Later that afternoon I was conveyed by ambulance straight into the operating theatre where the doctor and the anaesthetist were already scrubbed up ready to begin. All they required was the patient. It was July 16th. My sister and sister-in-law were waiting for me as I arrived. They walked with me to the door of the operating room. As soon as I looked into the eyes of this neurosurgeon I knew I was in the most capable hands. The operation began at about 6.00pm and I was conscious again at 1.00am in the morning. My family of sisters were there to greet me. It was now the 17th July.
Now a really strange thing occurred. I kept asking if I was lying down. Yes, they assured me you are lying flat on the bed. The nurses are about to take you to ICU. That may have been their perspective, mine was very different. I KNEW that I was seated on a carved chair covered in burgundy velvet, trimmed with gold. The neurosurgeon had created this for me. It was so comfortable that my body moulded to it and every tinge of pain had gone. The burgundy chair stayed with me throughout my three days in Intensive Care. I may have been lying flat in bed to everyone else. To me, I was reclining on an upmarket, burgundy, custom designed, ergonomic chair!
In Intensive Care, the body chose to make a vibrational change. That change is made through the heart. The heart stops momentarily to send a communication to all the cells in the body that a frequency shift is occurring. At that moment we experience arrhythmia, a change of the beat of the heart. Yep, my heart chose this time to change its beat to alert the cells of the body to a frequency change! I was attached to banks of tubes and monitors, so bells and whistles rang and shook the room. The nurse who was with me 24/7 ran out of the room abandoning me as she called for help! The room filled with doctors who checked all my vital signs. I explained what had happened. They listened and left! Nothing seemed amiss. The Heart monitor screen no longer peaked and troughed. It levelled out as my seven chakra spin returned.
My nurse asked if there was anything I would like. I would love you to wash my hair, I said. She obliged with warm bowls of water, shampoo and towels. It’s not simple to wash someone’s hair as they lie flat in bed. She had plastic sheets under my head, to allow the water to drain into the bowl she held behind my head. She tilted the bed slightly, to enable the water to flow away from me. I felt so much better. Never done that before, she said!
July 19: I was moved to room 116. I could feel nothing in the legs; in fact I couldn’t feel anything from the hips down. Not a thing. The neurosurgeon has operated on my spine through the side of my left chest. He called it a thoracotomy – and explained that he had operated through the ribs, removing one rib completely and detaching another. My left lung had been deflated, and bone taken from the iliac crest of the left hip bone was used to repair the spine. I had long incisions down the left side and at the hip where the donor bone was taken. I listened in disbelief. I was in pain from the surgery, it was incredibly sore. Yet not nearly as painful as the hours during which the spine broke. Nothing could compare to that. This was very sore and uncomfortable. For someone who for at least two decades had not taken a painkiller, I welcomed them.
July 20: I was in resignation. Nurses came in and administered drugs – yes, drugs! They were offered frequently and I didn’t ask what they were or what they were for. I swallowed them and slept. It hurt to feed myself. I was catheterised and bedridden.
July 21: I was sure that everything I had written was invalid; I had simply imagined it and made it up. I was a paraplegic. I had failed, and failed dismally. I was trolleyed to the diagnostic unit for testing; bone tests and a CT scan; I was lifted from the gurney onto the test bed of the machine, ouch! Pain and more pain, each time I was moved. It hurt! I asked for morphine as I loved its effect. It allowed me to float off on a cloud of softness, away from the pain. It took a few days to realise that I was using this drug to escape. When I ceased to resist the pain it began to diminish, to become an undertone rather than a loud overtone. Think flute, rather than symbols.
I recalled the adage: WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS. The breakthrough was acknowledging the pain and going into it, rather than pushing against it. Once I had a handle on the pain the re-training from my guide team began.
It was then that the voice boomed inside my head: ‘YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODY’.
I began to expand, as if I was so huge I could barely fit inside the airless room. Even though I was numb from the hips down, and at the surgical site on my left side; I felt the expansion! I was huge. The voice was right. This was the real me. I was not contained by the body. It is my ESSENCE that is contained inside the body. It was shown to me that I was not a body. I had a body. As the vase on the shelf beside me had flowers in it, my body was filled with the essence that is me. My body contained my essence. My body was not unlike the vase really. The ‘I’ inside this body was much, much, more than I had ever previously considered. Just as those cut flowers were part of a much bigger plant. I was far more than a body. I had just expanded to be become so enormous. How could I possibly think I was actually just a body? The body carried who I am. Who I am was not simply physical. That made my current predicament easier to manage. For the Human Me was unable to stand, unable to get out of bed, or do any useful thing to assist my own comfort. That experience of being far more than I thought I was put my physical body into a totally new perspective for me. A ‘legless’ body was not easy for me to rationalise.
July 22-28: Each day became a bit easier emotionally; as my ability to make sense of what was happening returned. My numbed brain began to think again! I began to question what drugs were being given to me and why. One drug was being injected into my stomach. What is this for? Diabetes. I explained that I had never been diagnosed with diabetes. Please do a blood test to check. That drug stopped.
My daytime nurses were men. I quickly moved past any reluctance at being intimately cared for by male nurses. I was bed washed for days, without ever getting out of bed for anything. Tubes were still attached, and so was the catheter.
I felt such unconditional support from friends and family. Healers came and put their hands on me, cards filled the room, and the vibration of flowers transformed its energy.
A team of four people came to turn me over during the night to avoid the development of pressure sores. I was unable to roll over, or move at all without assistance. I found this disturbing, and painful. My right side was the only side that didn’t hurt, yet the pressure from holding the body’s weight on that side was not comfortable at all. I discovered that every bit of me is connected. And every bit hurt! I could manage a few minutes on the right side but preferred to sleep on my back, which I had never done I my life, and which I learned to do with some anguish for several months straight.
My favourite nurse came to check on me during the night on the 26th, to discover that I had haemorrhaged. The doctor was called in and I was bundled up at 3.00 am into an ambulance to be sent back to the public hospital where the diagnostic unit worked 24/7 – to find out why and from where. It was a rectal bleed. What?
Testing over, I returned to the private hospital next day, as arrangements were in progress for me to be sent to a rehabilitation hospital. I went into a shared room for the night, as I had an ambulance arriving tomorrow for the transfer. There we had a repeat performance of the haemorrhage, only this time it was more severe. The room became a theatre with stands, bags of blood and doctors from all sections of the hospital. It happened at the very same time as before, 3.00 am. The patient, with whom I was sharing, was moved out.
It was the coldest night we had recorded in July, as I was trolleyed downstairs and into an ambulance. I was frightened and freezing, as I was accompanied by a nurse this time. That was a sign of concern. Off we went to the same public hospital again. New tests were scheduled. I had lost so much blood I could barely remain conscious. It was during these few hours with my sister beside me, that I lost my faith. I am going to die now, I told her. I had reached complete resignation; it would be easy to go now. I could barely remain conscious. My patient sister became feisty. WE HAVE NOT COME THIS FAR FOR YOU TO DO THAT NOW. I rose from indignation to anger in a nano-second. How dare you I thought, you are not in this body. It was a thought, it was not spoken aloud. I had no energy to speak. That emotion, which stirred my cells, changed my life.
Nor did I want my children to see me like this, I told her. And of course they both appeared, with baby Bodhi beside my bed. That was the clincher. I made the choice to stay and watch my grandson grow up. Figs: 7, 8 and 9 show that the two side vertical vortices which support the central one, have moved to the third eye position over the ears, indicating the use of my intent to use mind over matter and change, as a spiritual technology.
The bed at Shenton Park Annex, the rehabilitation hospital was allocated to someone else, so back I went to the private hospital for two whole weeks before a bed was found for me. That was such a comforting time, in Room 121. I had my first real shower after the catheter came out. The male nurse left me to play under the water for about ten minutes, such bliss with subsequent exhaustion! Moving in and out of bed was exhausting, I became mobile again. When I say mobile, think hoist! I was hoisted in and out of bed, and strapped to the hoist to make bathroom visits.
Still short on blood, I was apt to faint. My sister-in-law arrived just in time to see me being caught by two nurses, as I passed out and slid out of the hoist and down the side of the bed. She rushed off to get help. A fall in a hospital requires pages and pages of paperwork. Those nurses had me in a vice like grip until a colleague came to their assistance and I found myself back in bed some time later!
A startling calculation was made after Marion and I counted the bags of blood I had received; both at the time of the operation and through the blood transfusions of the last few days. It appeared I may not have had any of my own blood left! Whose DNA did I have now? What information had been transferred into my system?
I sat and read books in a comfy chair with the call-bell beside me, until a room became available at Shenton Park. I asked for an explanation for the disconnection from the Earth Grids which Val had seen in all of us; and was told:
‘My dear, to reconstruct, which is what we are doing, immobilisation has been necessary. To immobilise necessitates disconnection. You have not only been disconnected from the Earth, but from your physical body also; to allow us to instigate the changes that will allow you to live a long and healthy life. Now it is time to send the energy through to your feet once more so that your nerves can once more be reactive; and your muscles also. That is the focus. The worst is over. The changes are well and truly set into place. Now is the time to focus on the miracle we have spoken about for so long. You will be the miracle”.
I certainly didn’t feel like a miracle!
The specialist doctor from the spinal unit, came to see me, and told me that I would not walk again. He offered me a bed for 12 weeks, during which time I would receive physiotherapy and occupational therapy plus learn how to operate a wheel chair and care for myself independently. I cried when he told me that an estimate of my life span was about 6 months.
Anything but a miracle in those words!
How can he say that? What makes him think he is a life forecaster? Even weather forecasters get it wrong! I will show them. My spirit was back.
July 28: “Tonight my dear, be assured that our plan to speed up your healing will be facilitated now. All is I place, all the keys are turned. All new initiatives that will unfold begin now. Do not doubt, each day your body will strengthen and flourish. Our plan is to show that even the most feared of your earthly diseases, can be overcome by holding the vibration of the One Pulse, for in the evolution of the human comes miracles that go unseen. In a body undergoing trauma like yours, and being well recorded as we planned, comes data that cannot be disbelieved. When your legs walk again, the miracle will be seen, for at that point all will be healed. As we have said so often, every cell will heal.”
I began chemotherapy after a visit from the oncologist. I had no resistance this time, no shout from the solar plexus that this was not in my best interest. It was the newest drug mentioned to me in 2002, and now on Trial. This drug called Herceptin, a monoclonal antibody, had been cloned from the receptors of cancer cells. If I chose to join a Trial, I received the drug at no charge, in exchange for my daily symptom diary and specific weekly records made by a nurse, at the Trials Office. Next to dying, having my body filled with drugs, was a substantial fear. In fact my worst fear. I moved through this and agreed.
A rare day without a visitor, gave me head space to prepare for the first treatment. Guidance please!
“My dear, the details are already taken care of. No visitors today so you can visualise and prepare your heart and mind. Talk to your body, each cell, each adamantine particle, and command them to work in the only way you wish them to work. Speak it out loud three times. Call on the Holy Spirit and use the sacred symbols of the solar cross, the Star of David and the pyramid. As the drugs are administered, place yourself inside the pyramid for protection. Do this each time without fail. This will safeguard you from any side effects. See each administration as a delivery of Light and Love. Surround yourself and those around you with Light and Love. Place a cocoon of Light around you and others who are there. Fill the cocoon with Golden Light, sealed with platinum. Visualise the drug as golden light sparkling with the iridescence of diamond light, effervescent and life filled. See the drug as radiant energy that will absorb and evaporate ever cancer cell in your body. Request that any cell not a cancer cell, be bypassed by the drug and call your organs and immune system to excrete the surplus quickly. This you may ask for daily if you think to do so. Write out the script of your words to say aloud and focus on love, stillness and reflection at your heart centre”.
I wrote out my script as directed, which was an abbreviation of the words I had been given and waited anxiously. The control of my mind over my matter continued as I used my intent to program my DNA and ask my cells to cooperate with my intent.
The next morning was first chemotherapy delivery. I was in anxious anticipation of what this would mean. I was attended to by a nurse I had never seen before. In walked the oncologist and asked the new nurse what she was doing on my ward. The chemotherapy ward was where she usually worked! Not this morning! She prepared my first chemo dose for me in my room, alone, with no requirement to go anywhere else. I thanked her for making it easy, and her reply was that it “must have been meant”. So began a three drug Trial, of intravenous Herceptin plus two oral chemotherapy drugs, for eighteen months. The drugs were administered weekly.
I remember Dr Hahnemann, the father of Homoeopathics saying that manmade drugs cause more disease states than they cure. I spent the day talking to the body about this and about the common concept that cancer is to be fought. Really! Do I want my body to wage war? Just like troops in Iraq with weaponry designed to kill, and kill en masse, did I want to wage war inside this body of mine? The answer was No. I did not wish to see a war between my cells being waged with chemical weapons. Ok Guide Team, what do you have to say about this?
“Stop seeing …the drugs…as the enemy. Make them your friend and ally. Love these substances, call them Light; call them love – love the adamantine particles from which they are made. The results will be what you desire. Focus on those things only, and celebrate as you move through this process. It will not be as you expect. No more symptoms will manifest. Celebrate with joy, for your journey will teach others of your vibration, how a body in the process of cellular regeneration deals differently with these drugs. This is the purpose. Focus on stillness and joy. Expect miracles and they will happen. No one of your vibration; has undergone this process. Trust and all will be as you ask”.
Let’s love these cells back to health. Self-denigrating thoughts probably created their existence; let’s speak to them with love and compassion. So I visualised love, a cocoon of soft pink, and lots of forgiveness for myself for the thoughts and choices I had made to create them.
Tell me about this new program.
‘Your Indigo program updates every piece of you – every cell in the body, every organ, every fibre of every muscle and nerve. Indeed every blood cell. When you calculated that you had lost most of your own blood, let us tell you that you lost it all. Your old blood had the end codes in it! It is in the blood codes that the use-by-date of the body is written. Had we left your own blood there you would not have survived. It was necessary to eliminate every drop of your own blood to ensure your resurrection. Do you remember that we had Anne call you to alert you to the events of the next ten days? She called you just in time for you to realise that there were more events in store for the body. You rode them well. For someone who was to leave the earth plane at this time you reworked your situation with mastery’.
See www.cropcirclesoftheeyes.com.au for the Soul’s ability to override the death marker in your DNA.
‘Now let us describe to you what this program is about. Embodying the next steps of the vibratory program could only be done in a human body that held the Indigo Ray. The Light Strobe that coded you through the central axis of the body, had to be an Indigo stream of light. Why ‘had to be’, you ask? There is no way you can use a Windows Programs if you don’t have it operating on your computer. This program is no different. You can’t run any program that lies before you without downloading the Operating System on which it runs. Indigo is the operating system. Without it, no other download is going to interface with you. That was what the Soul Group programmed in – their ability to change from their old Soul Aspect to a new Soul Aspect without going through the death process’.
‘Your operating system is Indigo. Without it you cannot run any other feature or plug-in. That was non-negotiable if you were to proceed’.
‘If you wish to evolve your body and its vibratory state further, call in your Indigo Operating System’!
‘You may like to use an Intention like this: Speak it loudly so your cells vibrate. When you feel this vibration in your cells, know that the Program is on its way’!
With the agreement of every cell of my body, I call in my own Indigo Operating System to be downloaded within my body with seamless ease and grace.
With the agreement of every cell in the body I call upon my own unique Indigo operating system to easily and gently download into each cell with absolute ease, and in perfect timing for me in every way.
On a visit from Val, she saw that the flow of energy through my body from the cosmos, and from the earth, had reconnected strongly once more. The whole body was Pulsing at 450 cycles per second. The Pulse was so big it filled the iris of the eye, which meant it filled the whole body with the Indigo light information of synthesis. The new operating system of synthesis had been installed.
In 2001 Helen McCarthy asked loudly and vehemently to be shown how the visible and the invisible work together. Be careful what you ask for.
In the middle of that year she experienced an epiphany. A loud voice shouted the same sentence into her head twice. That sentence made little sense at the time; yet was a premonition of what was to come. She was about to live the answer to her question through a cancer diagnosis.